New Idea !

So I'm trying something new today. I'm going to blog every day until I find a job that doesn't involve cooking and hopefully will let me put my super-useful media studies bachelors degree to work. So today was day one, I applied to 60 jobs today on Monster, Careerbuilder, Mandy, Media Bistro, Craigslist, Container Store, and Apple. Yes Apple. I also just finished the last morsels of Ben and Jerrys Red velvet cake Ice cream because I was hungry but too lazy to cook at home. I'm still considering going to real estate school even though I'm not really sure I'll make any money off of that. Heres to hoping. I defrosted chicken in the fridge overnight 3 days ago, I'm gonna smell it and see if I can make stew.... if not its ramen tonight because I'm too poor to afford anything else at the moment. I hope one day I'll be able to look back at these posts and laugh. That picture above you is me, yesterday, at The Sands, Atlantic beach, working as a chef for a catering company. The original picture was me serious and got bad responses from Facebook so I uploaded a "smiling version". Cheers

Why am I doomed to stay in the restaurant industry forever

I don't care if anyone reads this. I graduated college in July of 2011. I got an internship at a great place editing videos and thought I found my future. After a while they moved me to the night shift which I found miserable so I quit. I thought I could find another job during the day in minutes, I mean thats the point of having a college degree right? WRONG!

I ended up working at some shithole restaurant called Grill Point in Queens. Yes after having a college degree the only place I could get a job was back cooking. I endured that for 3 months before I realized I am not using my college degree and just settling. Since working at Grill Point I have been submitting 60 resumes a day to no success, I finally had an interview with enterprise rent a car. The interview started over the phone which I passed with flying colors. The interview continued to meet with the recruiter which also went very well and gave me the impression I was hired for this piece of shit 30k a year job. Apparently there was one more interview with a cock sucking asshole area manager. I thought I did well on that interview too but I received an email two days later saying after careful consideration we will be pursuing other candidates for the job. What the fuck, was my managerial experience or customer service experience not enough. Im going broke and I really don't want to go back into the kitchen but to be honest there is something against all odds that drags me back into this misery. Is it the creative freedom? is it the passion for perfectionism I have? Is it the love of food? I don't know but for some reason its a constant tingling that won't go away. My biggest problem is I know if I put my head down finally and dedicate myself to it I can be good, very very good. I just need to sharpen my skills a bit and I will have reviewers write about me for years to come. But then comes the negative. I will be working 80 hours a week for pay thats less than good.

 Slaving over hot stoves cuts and burns all over and constantly pissed off at the 9-5ers. I wanna go to work in a suit and tie but corporate america keeps rejecting me. I hate everyone so much right now. Please feedback if you can, any guidance helps

I've been busy

Have you ever just wanted to curl up in a ball, suck on your thumb and cry? 

This is what I am now feeling on a nightly basis. Since the last post I have graduated college, received my diploma, quit flying the friendly skies, and now it seemed like I was ready to take on corporate america and become a comfortable millionaire working 9-5 5 days a week and living in the city. Then I woke up... 

There was no corporate millionaire. No 150,000 dollar salary. No apt in the city, still living in little russia, queens. I couldn't even get a 9-5 job. What I got was an overnight shift 5 days a week. What I learned these past few months is 

I HATE OVERNIGHT SHIFT 

The job I can deal with. 10 hours of work a day I can also deal with. But working all night is near impossible. I've been lying to my parents about how I love my new job and work 9-5 when in reality I hate it and work 7pm-5am. All I wanted was a normal schedule and a comfortable life. I wanna have a dog ... live in the city.. and have more than 100 bucks in my bank account at the end of the month when it's all said and done, But I guess thats not possible. 

Searching fro the answers is a hard discouraging process. Though I may never breakdown to my parents and admit failure and request help, I will always have the dark hole of the internet to vent to and express my thoughts and emotions

Decision Points: and I thought cooking was stressful

For today's entree I decided to go non-conventional.

In all my 10 fabulous years of cooking, I thought I had the most stressful job in the world. Working in a high heat environment, sweating like a pig, smelling like a combination of marinara sauce and vomit. Arguing early in the morning with various purveyors for better prices, having my competitors restaurants fax me their daily menu, dealing with staff and customers. It just didn't seem like anyone had a more stressful time.

Enter 2008.
I started working for an airline where the highlight of my "stress" would be how to pour a diet coke. I wanted out of the restaurant business after a few botched attempts with relationships that thought I was overly obsessed with my job.
I enjoyed this non-challenging peanut brain job for about 4 months. Then I got bored. So the thought of returning to the kitchen occurred to me, but then  I remembered the good and the bad .... but mostly the bad. I figured I have to do something else with my life, something challenging.

So I started school at a local community college, got my AA in liberal arts while working for a major airline. I then transferred to a 4 year big boy college to get my bachelors in "Media Studies" (it was the easiest major according to my guidance councilor so I went for it).

Today we are in 2011, and I will be graduating May 18th from A NYC College. My attempt at landing an internship is so far proving to be unsuccessful and my internship advisor advised me to "dumb down" my resume.

Enter plan B

I have always toyed with the idea of going to law school, it was always in the back of my mind, especially since I sued my former boss and won some $$. I spoke like a champion in court, wearing a suit and tie, addressing the judge with words like "your honor" and "I object".
My dad happened to be there in court with me just in case my former boss tried to "put a hit out on me".
Even though I have struggled to maintain a good relationship with my father, the way his eyes glowed when I walked out the courtroom. He had a smile from ear to ear, I could finally see what he was proud of, what he wanted his son to be. He never said anything but "good job" to me. But to my mom he raved later (at least according to her). He told her he was so proud of me, and how professional I was and how well i spoke.

So anyway back to the topic.
I've been thinking of going to law school now that my media career doesn't seem to be blasting off. I consulted with my News Analysis and Journalism adviser, who is also a retired lawyer, and she told me that being a lawyer is written all over me and I should pursue it full force.
So I'm thinking I'm gonna go ahead with it. But I can't lie, school, work, decisions has put a huge burden on my social life. I seem to have none of that left. The stress of taking out huge loans, going into a field I know little about and working in a job I'm not sure I'm even going to like, all while devoting 3 years of my life, so at 31 i'll be a lawyer and I may love or hate my job but have to stick with it.

WHOA

Now that's stress.

The lost definition of a "Chef" due to new media

My new rant is about the word "Chef" being tossed around like every amateur likes to call himself a chef. When I was brought into this industry, earning the title of "Chef" was nothing but sweat blood and tears. One would be hopeful to finally work his way up from dishwasher, to prep cook, to line cook, to sous chef and finally executive chef

The term Chef has such a strong meaning to me and the other old-schoolers (or whats left of them, thanks food network you @$#%@$%$%@$#%4). Chef means you have mastered all the aspects of running the kitchen. Everything from food cost, to recipes, to working under extreme pressure, to peeling a box of potatoes in record speed, to maniac infatuation with your competitors and your food, eating living and breathing all aspects of your baby, your restaurant. So many countless nights I have been in my dungeon of a kitchen at the various restaurants i've worked at. So many nights where I would work till midnight then go home, only to return at 3am because I just thought of a recipe in my head and how it might be amazing so i go and experiment.

The dreaded food network and youtube in part is why I am frustrated with people throwing around the word Chef. It's as if everyone can call themselves a doctor because they visited earthclinic.com

Food Network and YouTube, allowed viewers their chance to shine and learn recipes from cooking amateurs that did a few favors to make it on tv. I have no respect for most of them.

Thoughts on Risotto.

I am one of the best Risotto makers out there and I can say that with pride(so can TimeOut Miami, per when I was the sous chef of talula restaurant in South Beach and the magazine dubbed me "Risotto King"
Risotto is a love process
you have to feel when its just right to add the liquid to the rice
slowly stirring with a wooden spoon
having a heavy bottomed pot
doing each order a la minute (20 mins average per order)

you have to put love in it, constantly adjusting the flavor, adding ingredients to modify it... and finally finishing it with lime zest and rock shrimp, or lobster, or mushrooms and truffle oil, whatever you fancy. and dont forget to ADD BUTTER ! the end result is a not too stiff yet not to runny product which tastes like heaven dancing on your tastebuds. perfectly al dente.

There I'm done with my rant. Fucking Cheers !

The Face Book !

I'm sitting in my hotel room with my usual insomnia, and after writing a few yelp reviews and a few hotel complaints I go on facebook to check whats going on with the other acquaintances and family in my life.
It then dawned on me how much I miss my parents.  So I went to my Dads page and looked through pictures of him and my mom, then I went to my moms page and looked through pictures and status updates and then it hit me. I miss my parents a lot. I cant wait to see them again. I think a trip to Florida is calling my name in the near future :)

Ft. Lauderdale beach

Thoughts on Life

It's 1:09am. I got home from the airport after a never-ending day at around 1030pm. Tomorrow I have to work at 10am. After tossing and turning for hours I switched my netflix on and watched a movie. Still can't sleep. This pattern has been my life for the past 3 years. I have tried natural sleeping pills and I refuse to go on prescription pills because I'm scared I'll get addicted. It dawned on me that if I can't sleep I might as well blog about whatever comes to mind. So here goes.

Maybe I can't sleep because I have these annoying stressful thoughts constantly. I feel as if something is always bothering me. I'm finally graduating college in May and in some ways it is like a D-Day for me. What comes next? Do I go to law school? Do I pursue a career editing video in Final Cut Pro? Do I take on the stock market and see if a big time company hires me? Do I open up a small restaurant in a small island and live with a lab named Rocky? Where is my eternal sunshine?

Another thing that bothers me is love life. Part of me wants to take the plunge, meet someone, settle down. Another part of me is terrified of commitment. Is it because my previous long term relationship? Is it because I chose to remember only the bad stressful parts? The parts where you come home thinking all is well and you get the silent treatment and suddenly she bursts out on you and before you can even analyze what just happened you find yourself in the verbal fight of the century. The heart ache it causes after the fight. Is it worth it ?

As for girls in general. Why do they go for the wrong guy all the time? Why is it that when a guy treats a girl like the scum of the earth, she wont leave him alone, but when a guy treats her like a princess, she shits all over him and moves to the next frog. Is it a self confidence issue? Why do I care?

Why do I perceive love as weakness? I just read Andre Aggassi's book "Open" and I couldn't help but notice a trend. He cries a lot. He plays the bad ass unconventional tennis player but he must have mentioned at least ten instances where he was in tears. Why do I look at him and the word "pussy" comes out of my mouth? Is it because society has raised us men to never cry? Is it because we are supposed to show no emotion? Why is it always such a fucking game? Why does a girl think that if she fucks her way around the community I will have any interest in her? Why do your so called friends secretly wish they could sleep with the girls you sleep with and jump on any opportunity after you've had your go with her?